Stuff Atheists Like

Oh, I hear you laughing (or is that a guffaw?) but atheism wouldn’t be fun if there wasn’t religion. Atheists love to point out flaws in religious people’s beliefs but if atheists were successful in un-converting religious folk then who would they make fun of? Agnostics? That’s not even sporting.

Like yin and yang, God and the Devil, Yankees and Red Sox, and Captain and Tennile atheism thrives because of its antithesis. Beware though that this is a forbidden lovelike (much like the Lambada but less cheesy) so be careful with this knowledge as you must never speak its name.

Just because atheists don’t believe in gods doesn’t mean they can’t have one. They do and he is Richard Dawkins. Probably the most popular and coherent of the outspoken atheists, Dawkins is an evolutionary biologist by trade and a science and reason-loving, sceptic ninja by the grace of no god whatsoever. Oh, and he’s British. This has little bearing on anything but if you want to fit in with atheists, the devil is in the details.

Dawkins is a prolific writer which is good for you since you don’t have to try to read his entire body of work. Most atheists haven’t, so why should you? Just peruse his latest book (or at least the Amazon reviews), The God Dilema, and you’ll be up to speed for most of your atheist encounters.

Usually found on the back of a Subaru, Volvo, or Volkswagen the Darwin fish is the atheist answer to the Jesus fish. What makes this funny to an atheist is that the religious ichthys has evolved to grow feet. To let those of you that aren’t atheists (and thus, not as smart) in on the joke, Darwin’s name is typically inside the fish. This symbol is usally found next to other bumper, window or trunk decorations such as: “Dog is My Copilot”, “Jesus is Coming. Look Busy!”, and “I Eat Babies”.

The delicous irony of the Darwin fish is that many who display it haven’t read any of Darwin’s works. This is the exact same irony as the Jesus fish but without all the religous bullshit that goes with it.

Just mentioning the E-word to an atheist will put a sparkle in their eye and let them know you understand them. And in the end, this is really all an atheist wants: to be understood. Talking about evolution doesn’t take any special knowledge on your part since you already know the basic concept (and if you don’t, that’s what Wikipedia is for).

Don’t sweat the details since most atheists don’t care so much about the details of evolution as the concept of evolution and that it should be taught in schools. The opposite of evolution is creationism or the in vogue “intelligent design”. Throw out something like “Intelligent design is thinly veiled creationism and shouldn’t be taught in our schools alongside evolution” will help you fit in among atheists and hide that you believe in an invisible deity.